some jokes from TGOP
Don't laugh!" said the patient, Ed.
"Of course, I won't laugh," the doctor said. "I'm a professional. In over
20 years I've never laughed at a patient."
"Okay, then," Ed said, and proceeded to drop his trousers, revealing the
tiniest 'whooha' the doctor had ever seen. It couldn't have been bigger
than the size of an AAA battery!
Unable to control himself, the doctor started giggling, and then fell
laughing to the floor. Ten minutes later he was able to struggle to his
feet and regain his composure. "I'm so sorry," said the doctor. "I really
am. I don't know what came over me. On my honor as a doctor and a
gentleman, I promise it won't happen again. Now what seems to be the
problem?"
"It's swollen," Ed replied...
A woman and a man went to court to fight for custody of their child.
The woman said to the judge "Your Honour, I beared the child, for 9 months, I was the one delivering the child, undertaking the anguishing pain. Now tell me, who's the one paying the utmost price for the child? What did my husband do, and sacrificed, for the child's well-being?"
The judge was stucked hard by what the woman said. Then he asked the man, "What are your words for her, young man?"
The man thought for awhile and replied, "Your Honour, if I put a dollar into a vending machine, and bought a can of coke. Does the coke belong to me, or the machine?"
The man won the custody.
1 day, there were 10 monks, all waiting to go through the test to become the head monk. The master monk wanted to make sure there were no evil or perverse thought in their minds, so he got them all naked, and they were to wait in a room.
He placed the thinnest rice paper on their groin, and any movement caused by erection would break it. Whoever's rice paper did not break, would pass the test.
A young, beautiful woman walked into the room. Immediately, 2 rice papers broke. She then removed her blouse. Another 2 rice papers broke. She then removed her lingerie, and another 2 rice papers broke. She removed her skirt, and 2 rice papers broke again. There were only 2 rice papers left unbroken. She removed her bottom lingerie. 1 rice paper broke. The master monk then walked into the room, and said, "It has been hard on you, but I am convinced that you have passed the test. Now lets go take a shower."
The rice paper broke.
Caller: "Hello, is this Tech Support?"
Tech: "Yes, it is. How may I help you?"
Caller: "The cup holder on my PC is broken and I am within my warranty period.
How do I go about getting that fixed?"
Tech: "I'm sorry, but did you say a cup holder?"
Caller: "Yes, it's attached to the front of my computer."
Tech: "Please excuse me if I seem a bit stumped, It's because I am. Did you receive this as part of a promotional, at a trade show? How did you get this cup holder? Does it have any trademark on it?"
Caller: "It came with my computer, I don't know anything about a promotional. It just has '4X' on it."
At this point the Tech Rep had to mute the caller, because he couldn't stand it. The caller had been using the load drawer of the CD-ROM drive as a cup holder, and snapped it off the drive!"