suddenly mia so long from blogging, come back here i have alot to say. but i dont know how to put it. simple things first, i just started special term 2 today. the lecture is abit dry but maybe to me it's kind of interesting. after all it's accounting stuffs. my last semster results kinda sucks? still in the 2nd lower range cause of 1 stupid C for immunology. sigh.

when asked of a question it made me ponder for a little while. the question is something like male or female tends to say break up first? my answer to this used to be female. but now it's male. after seeing and being through so much stuffs, somehow i think guys tend to say break up first. and usually when such things happened, it happens suddenly, out of a blue without any sign or symptoms. and when they do they dont tell you the reasons. they can say things like "i still love you, but let's just be friends" but females tend to say things like "i dont love you / take it anymore, but we can still be friends" during a break up.

then some issues arised and another question came into my mind. men or women are the more complicated creatures in the world? my answer used to be the latter. but now it changed to men. sometimes when you feel that you understand him, but sometimes you dont. sometimes when you feel that you have taken a step forward towards him, but at the same time he took alot more steps away from you. sometimes you just wanna stay home, but he might think you're boring. sometimes you wanna go shopping, but he might think that his legs would break from that and not to mention a hole in the wallet.

sometimes when you just voice out how you feel, but he might think that you're thinking too much and seeing into too much details. at the end of the day, women are termed unreasonable, demanding, foolish, childish, silly, complicated people. but most women want is just a simple life with the person they loved and love them in return. the person need not be perfect in every ways, just by giving them the security and assurance they need, women are contented. assurance and security not just by words, but also by actions. vice versa.

perhaps there's just 1 thing men dont get about women. but there's 10 more things that women dont get about men and their way of thinking. i guess age and gender plays a part in how we view things and issues. how we handle them and lots of other stuffs. maybe when i come to that age i would understand and see what i dont see now. but by then the other person point of view and opinions would also change.

then another question comes to me.. after being in a long relationship, how do you still keep it going and not termed it boring? trying new things? but new things like what? what if the things in the world that can be done n tested had already been done? how do married couples keep it going? do they ever feel bored about just being with each other? what if things that both likes to do clashes with things that the other party dont like to do?

you know i'm a very simple person. as long as i can be with that person i'm contented. but i know not everyone is like me. perhaps i'm just naive. perhaps i still believe in those fairy tales and the happily-ever-after endings. but no one ever wrote cinderella part 2 or others about the life after marriage. perhaps it wasn't really a happily-ever-after ending. it's just a hoax to bluff kids and people like me, who still believes that's there's santa claus.

below is quoted from Anntonii's blog,

"A big pool of people I know told me it is a lot easier to be sad than to be happy. Life is miserable they say, every day living is a torturing feat they feel.

Waking up each day thinking about yesterday’s problems, then you will likely to face today’s problems and before you know it, you are already thinking about tomorrow’s problem.

You are just so sick about life because you feel that life is nothing but doing repeated task everyday and of no significant meaning."

i hate to admit but living each day in sadness is easier than happiness. at least, i dont have to be afraid of being upset and heartbroken cause i already am. i dont have to think of ways to keep the happiness going, cause there isn't any. maybe that's why sadness always seems to last longer than happiness. before you know it, the happiness is gone with the wind and the memory of it is too sparse as compared to sad memories. humans tend to remember sad things more than happy ones. humans tend to make their problems look bigger than it is. humans tend to take others for granted.

taking someone for granted. the companionship. the care and concern. the efforts in trying to think of ways to spice up life. all the unseen and untold, were never appreciated. when it is told, no one is listening to it really. they hear but they dont listen. when it is told, no one believes in it. they are just excuses that you have made to beautify everything. when no one believes nor listen, the damage to that person's heart and soul is greater than anything. it's no longer a knife stabbed into the heart. it's a lot of arrows piercing through the heart. sigh.

i guessed i went a little too far. so i'm off to bed now. bye..