香烟爱上火柴就注定被伤害。
不要轻易说爱，
许下的诺言就是欠下的债。
其实有一种爱情叫做放弃。
老鼠对猫说： “我爱你”。
猫说： “你走开”。
老鼠流泪走开。
但是谁也没看见老鼠走后，
猫也流了一滴泪。
希望多了，得到的是失望。
失望多了，得到的是绝望。
绝望多了，得到的是心灰意冷。
心灰多了，得到的就是心碎。
happened to remember these earlier on. had a nice chat with him just now. i can never understand why people must smoke and how does smoking relaxes oneself at the cost of one's health. i hate smokers. why? cause when i was young my father used to smoke too. my parents argued and quarrelled. why? my mother wanted my father to quit smoking for good. cause i'm still young. he did eventually.. cause i'm still young. so a divorce would affect my upbringing.. secondly, it landed me in hospital for 1 week. thirdly, the one i ever love so much up till this moment of my life, has to pick it up..
so i told him the cat and mouse story. he thinks i'm reconsidering our relationship. to a certain extent i was. for him, smoking seems to be a source of "anger-management" and "stress-relief". for me, smoking seems to be the source of my agony since last july. so i was thinking would it be better if i'm not with him. then there wont be an unreasonable, fickle-minded, childish, immature, crybaby, demanding, bad-tempered girlfriend by his side anymore. wouldn't he be happier without such a me that he sees? perhaps i would be happier too.
virgos cannot accept their love to be tainted. virgos cannot accept a flaw in their relationships. it's true for a virgo like myself. and amazingly i had been rather patient and kind. for i know, to quit smoking, it is not just a day or two thing. it takes time. so i set the time. for i know, beyond this deadline, i can no longer be sure that my emotions can be contained anymore. i dont wish to have another unpleasant birthday in my life.
maybe it's just me making a mountain out of a mole hill. but this is just me. i can accept all his flaws and his good points. but not this.. not smoking. it kills me to even just wait for the day he would really quit for good. maybe i was never a good lover to begin with.. but i love him beyond words that can describe. i must have a stupid gene somewhere. hah.