i don't know how to start blogging actually. perhaps i just felt neglected and distant from twin. haha. i'm too dependent on twin i guess, after all these months. it's gonna be a year since i know twin. o2jam is the root of all this eventful journey.

erm.. lately quarrelled alot. teared alot. alot of laughter also but somehow a little bit of sadness would overwhelm the happiness. i had alot of dreams yesterday. i dreamt that we went to a party together. then, one girl came and said you haven't return me a favour. so she pulled him to a corner or a room. it was crowded with people and i was left stranded there among strangers. after around 30mins i got impatient, i went to search for them. and i finally found them making out and tongue-ing each other. i walked away. he didn't even realised i was there. so that was the favour the girl was referring to. the girl seems familiar. someone i don't know but i've seen before somewhere.

i couldn't remember the other dreams clearly. roughly there were of similiar sorts or perhaps they were the continuation of the previous dream. maybe i'm being ridiculous again, but i can't help to think about that past issue. i can never let it go completely and he never understands that feeling for he has never been in that situation himself. only girls who doesn't have to undergo that can understand the feeling of it. you can termed the whole issue as a 'betrayal of love'. it's no longer the first time i had such dreams. been so many times that i simply chose to ignore it. but this time round, perhaps of all the quarrels, it had a great impact on my mood. feeling depressed and down. even if i have friends, family, boyfriend and a twin, i still feel lonely at this very point of time.

^{"Loneliness knows everything I keep inside
My endless thoughts in the silence of the night"
~ Westlife - Loneliness Knows Me By Name}