i'm screwed. i totally forgot to hand in my lab report. hopefully the A/P is kind enough to accept my work tomorrow when i go and find him. then, i still have to go settle this outstanding fee, which is the tuition/misc fees that i didn't know cannot be deducted by cpf. dont pay then cannot see results and cannot reg for next semster. so scary. i got to do it tomorrow. next week is too late. and to add on to it, the train jammed just now.

i heard from my sister that raffles place was crowded like shit. all the platforms are basically full. and i thought i was gonna be late to meet him because i cant go by the raffles place way but had to go the long way to jurong east, then to clementi. simply cause the train only service till newton.

and yet, i still have to wait for like 40minutes? my smses not replied never mind. as they were merely messages to inform my whereabouts. when i called, little do i know, i'm still considered very early. cause he's still in the office. i did not even receive any sms saying that he'll be working till that late. it's just politeness. if i'm gonna be late, i would sms the person i'm gonna meet before the meeting time, informing that person i would be late and how late i might be. sigh. he dont even have time to sms me telling me about it?

was i angry? i was a little. but then on second thoughts, what for? who knows i might get some comments like "why cant you be more understanding?" or "why are you so unreasonable?" or "why cant you be more independent?" so i just kept quiet. why? cause it happened before. i got angry and that's what he said to me. to make my day even more greyish, i was so anxious and i told him about my lab report and fees. not long after, he went to sleep, saying he's sorry he got no mood to talk. and you can imagine the whole chat window was flooded with my typings with occasional one sentence reply. that basically sums up my day.

saw anntonii blog and started to think again. how i wish that there is the book of love. i want to tear out all the sad episodes of my love. if there's a book of life, even better. i want to tear out and rewrite some portions to make it better, like rewriting today to not forgetting to hand in lab report. or perhaps read his book of life, to experience how is it like to be him and let him be me for just 1 day. just now, was sms-ing with eileen and twin. lately been chatting with wenfeng on msn too. and they gave me the same conclusion. one that i knew, but pretended not to know.