the bbq at ECP on 7th feb was alright i guess. except that i was rather pissed from the start till the end. dont wish to say much but just there's 2 xiaoren. yeah. if you noticed, the number of xiaoren increased by 1. this new candidate is a female who is attached, but can say is a big time flirt. and let's say not only the female, my boyfriend is also a flirt.
let's give the female name as A. there's 2 other guys, X and Y. A went to season the beef with my bf and then stand so close to each other. i was cooking chicken, satays and otahs. the beef was meant for me to eat. nothing else i eat at the bbq. so my bf specially bought beef for me. or so i thought. so nevermind. first and second piece the scene was as such. then he went to cut the beef up into bitesize. i was bbq-ing still. from 5pm to 830pm nonstop.
so naturally he fed me the beef. then, A said, "i also want. why you never feed me?" so instead of replying the usual like what he will say to me most of the time "go take yourself" he fed her. nevermind. endure! then it not only happen once or twice, but at least thrice. so obviously no mood to eat anything at all. didn't want to think much, so i just continue cooking for everyone. why am i the chef? cause no one is proactive in his company. simple.
then X start to cook chicken wings so i can take a break and perhaps grab a bite. so A told X "eh, i want chicken wing" i also wanted to try one. it's seasoned with some herbs and very fragrant, just abit bland. so X gave me the chicken wing first before giving to her. her face turned black. haha. then Y said "you're not first best already" haha. what a little sweet revenge. after which X gave her the chicken wing, but she still doesn't look happy at all.
sidetracking, X and Y are not her boyfriend. A did not bring her boyfriend along. Y asked A "where's your boyfriend?" you guess what A reply was? haha. "bring him for what?!" so in my heart i was thinking.. "yah. what do you need to bring him for.. let him see how flirt you are?"
so anyway, at the very beginning my fingers got scalded by the hot metal grills. but i didnt tell anyone. but my bf saw. come over to sayang me~ apparently later on she also scalded her finger during the bbq and she whined "my finger also scalded. why you never ask me pain or not?" hmm.. in my heart this is what i was thinking "hello! he not your bf leh. he is MY bf. shameless b*tch." sorry for the vulgarities, but surely anyone in the right mind can understand this.
so came the third and the fourth piece of beef to be cooked. same thing. they marinated it together. he cut it up into bitesize. perhaps he realised i would be angry or already angry, so he offered X the beef too. and intentionally or unintentionally just walked past A and get to me first. but still.. he went back to feed A the beef right before my eyes! she wasnt doing anything but standing around thinking she's very pretty you know. got hands got legs, cannot take yourself?
at the end of the day, i ended up being a vinegar pot instead of a happy girl. who would not become a vinegar pot after enduring 5hours of these repeatedly. so after that i told him i dont like the way things were done. how can a female be so shameless to flirt with the guy when his gf is just there? so it makes me wonder, are things worse when i'm not there? but he thinks i'm being petty and over-reacting. to him, that was nothing but purely "playing around" and they're just colleagues.
i thought perhaps it's really me who is over-reacting. so i asked CK and CP. am i being over-reacting? am i being petty? and i asked, if you're me, how would you feel? both of them gave the same reply. i'm not over-reacting. is the A already buay zhi dong and your bf also buay zhi dong. then i reflect again. *always reflect alot after something happened* is it really my fault for feeling this way? am i really being petty by reacting this way when such things happened right before me? my conclusion is no.
so i told him how i felt calmly, not asking for a quarrel. but maybe he thought i was just being unreasonable and finding issues to quarrel over with. his replies were still the same. "you're being so petty! we're always like that even in the office." i cant blame him for not being a Relator. so i asked him did he stand in my place and feel what i might be feeling. he told me "if i'm you, it's nothing what. she's just a colleague" how come i dont see myself behaving like her when i'm with my uni guy friends.. that's strange.
so i changed my question "if a guy friend/classmate of mine flirt with me, and i return him the flirt in front of you, how would you feel?" i got silence as an answer. what is that silence supposed to mean? you agree with me, but because of your ego and pride you cant admit it? or silence means that "i dont wish to talk to you. you're just being unreasonable, petty and out of your mind."
honestly, if anyone tells me i'm just over-reacting and provide me the reasonings, i would just let it go and admit that it's just me over-reacting. perhaps i would even change this "bad" point about myself. of course, not to worry. things are already chilled between me and him. still going on strong. heex.(*^-^*)
just some random thoughts to share at the end of this entry..
`affections should only be given to that special one, not meant to be shared
`promises are meant to be kept, not broken