tears hidden within is really unbearable. i feel humilated. i feel so.. hmm.. should i use the word "cheap"? nothing big happened. just got reprimanded by his mum. i cannot take this kind of stuffs actually. i feel like walking out. but i just sit here stranded. just listen to people nag. this is the first time in my entire 3 years, someone nagged at me again with such tones and words. it really make me have second thoughts about this whole relationship. i'm easily affected by the other party's family and parents. that's why i always have a phobia of meeting the parents. i don't like such things to happen. getting scolded just because we're in the room? okay. i understand old people are very traditional. but, does she really have to use such hurtful words? it's not as if i don't know the pain of losing a loved one, it's not as if i don't know how hard it is for a cancer patient at the terminal stage.. it's not as if i don't go home early before 10plus 11pm. it's not as if i don't have my own intergrity..

earlier on she banged the door and shouted at him already. it affected me. it just make me feel like not coming here ever again. or perhaps i really don't want to come anymore. buying outside food to eat also cannot?! wtf?! i'm angry? not really. i'm just on the verge of crying. it's so insulting for people to imply i have no manners, no self-respect. it's so insulting to say such things about a girl. it's as though saying my parents didn't teach me well. how can she say such things?! just in the room looking at comics. that is a crime?! wtf you tell me.. i simply don't understand and never ever wish to step in here again!! if you're asking me if this would affect me and him, definitely it will. i understand the restrictions were meant well for him. can't she just put it in a nicer way? ridiculous. hilarious. atrocious. i can't live with such people. it just drives me crazy. it's touching to know all that she's done for her family members, but sad at the words she used. hurtful. tainted. i go through so much to reach here. i might just give up at this point of time? bearing the tears is simply so hard. the longer i stay here, the more i don't want to come again. so what if the grandmother always asked about me? this is the way they treat other people outside of the family. if already family, how would they treat you?

my mum don't spoil me, she doesn't pampers me. but neither will she used such words on a person even if she don't like the person. manners.. i think some people need to have that first before preaching about others. you say i never let him rest? wtf?! you don't know anything then don't comment so confidently and blaming everything on me. as if it's my fault for my existence in this house. FINE! i'll fk off then.