emo till max. fk up. zzz. stupid raging hormones during the time of the month. to add on with it, my life always have idiots crossing it, driving me crazy. why? cause i'm just worried and caring for my loved one, not wanting him to get into shits due to those idiots. and perhaps my concerns were redundant. the cabs are getting ridiculously expensive. fk. force me to take the trains and buses.

i really love sad songs. cause they can make me cry my heart out even when i didn't really intend to. just like today. i took bus to harborfront and change to train. i teared on the bus, on the train. strange glances at me. i simply dont give a damn? cause i'm too emo with my own thoughts and feelings. this must be one of the worst pms period i ever had up till now in my life.

sometimes i think to myself, what's the meaning in living? no money, yet everything is getting so expensive. and what's worst? having alot of misers in your life and unfortunately they are your closed ones. perhaps i should really just fk off from everyone. stay home best. let me be called as anti-social better. then i dont have to fking think so much about money issues.

lately been thinking about death, and after death stuffs. how much pain or fear would fill up an individual on the verge of dying? how's death like? will i still have a conscious mind of my own after death? then i start to think, what if i'm old? what would i be like? how things would change? alot of people out there sure say i'm silly, think so much for what, but it's just me. if you cant accept me for the way i am, the way i think, the way i talk, the way i react, the way my emotions are, just get out of my life and stop hurting me.

enough of emo stuff. guess it's time to end this entry before i lose control of my words. bye world.