today is his birthday. but i messed up big time. i told him to fetch me up early. but my alarm didn't ring. i overslept. in 15minutes i got ready went to buy truffle cake and took a cab down to find him. if i hadn't reached in time i would have missed him going out. so i ran after his car till it stopped at the traffic light. i just walked over and went into the car. if it was locked, at most i get horned or get knocked over. since i'm such a bad girlfriend..

went to pump his tires. went bugis. after which things cooled, we went to cineleisure to catch a movie. but missed the timing. went to lunch at pastamania. after which we watched The House Bunny. after that went back ate his birthday cake. the top layer sort of melted. and he doesn't seemed to like the truffle cake. saying i'm half-hearted about celebrating his birthday. it hurts. but i'm in the wrong for not waking up, so i let him said without reacting.

then we went to cathay to watch Connected. in the middle of the movie, my sandals snapped. so after movie, we went plaza singapura to find any suitable shoes for me. my mind got occupied with finding shoes and neglected him. he got upset again. we went vivocity. wanted to eat hogs breath but they ran out of prime ribs. had a drink there. the situation was cold. after a while, things chilled again. went to buy heels and then we went to long john to packet his dinner. after which, home sweet home.

today i realised i'm such a bad lover, such a bad girlfriend. i ruined his birthday. he said he doesn't want to celebrate birthday anymore. i told myself throughout the day, if he wanted to breakup, i would just leave. i cant even make him happy. i cant even stop myself from crying everytime i see him walking away. everytime i dont see his eyes looking at me. everytime when his face lost its colours. i blame myself alot. knowing he would be irritated by my words or tears, i rather he walked ahead and didn't see my face. perhaps it would always remain as a scar. i dont know. perhaps he would come to dislike or hate me. i wont want to know. i know no matter how many times i said sorry it wouldn't change anything.